something i do |something to think about

sometimes I do this I don't know why I read a book and half way through I get over it. so im reading a book called the boy called it. its a true story so they say about a little boys story of his abusive mother and how she treats him like doesn't feed him for a whole week. makes him clean the bathroom stabs him and doesn't take him to the doctor, lets the cute get infected and then because he is nearly dying his mother gives him scraps of food.

I have no idea why I am reading this book its horrific and sad and there are millions of books I could choose to read but I choose this. I don't know if its a famous book or if anyone of you have read it but its interesting and makes you feel selfish that you are dwelling on your little day to day problems and all we are doing in complaining about them instead of doing anything about.

I have a roof over my head I have a loving family I have a job I had an education I have food in my stomach, but yet I am complaining and being upset and moody! sometimes you have to take a HUGE step back and look at your life you cant look at a painting close up to sea a beautiful picture you have to stand back and look at the whole thing.

so here's something to think about my internet friends



ITS MY LIFE

so this is sort of like an epiphany in a way. I was driving home yesterday I do a lot of thinking when I drive home I like to reflect on things when I'm driving. a thought popped into my head, I thought this is my life, THIS IS MY LIFE! I love the people in my life and I tend to put people before me but this is my life I have to do what is best for me at the end of the day.

if you make decisions in your life that make other people happy you will never be happy you will never do the things you want to do. As you have read in my pervious blog I was upset about something and I wanted to tell you guys because this is an honest blog about life and learning things in your 20s. everyone has their own beliefs in things what they think is right and wrong and someone close to me did something that I think is really wrong and hurt me really bad. I realised that if I want my mind and soul to be cleansed and not have hatred and anger in my soul I have to forgive this person.

now I know there are some things you cant forgive people for you have to make up your mind if you still want to be friends with that person or still married/dating that person. if that person isn't good for you then its best to let them go even if it hurts because you have to do what's best for you this is your life!

now the person that hurt me I know in my heart it isn't worth not having them in my life its not that big its just knowing that they know how I feel about what they did and that they wont do it again. I hope this helps some of you and i just want to thank the people that read my blog you guys really make my day.

when things go wrong

this post was suppose to be about the wedding I went to what I wore and how it was but I am really not in the most creative mood to type such a post. my weekend was supposed to be a good weekend full of fun and special times but it turned out to be one of those weekends and that you wish it was Monday again and I don't think anyone wishes it was Monday.

I'm not going into huge detail with why I am sad to day because I'm not big on opening up and I like to keep a bit of mystery in my life. but I found out something about someone close to me and they did something that really hurt my feelings and made the other people close to me lie about it. now this person is very close and what that person did was very hurtful. I hate letting people get to me and ruining my weekend. I feel weak and really betrayed. I haven't learnt a lesson yet and I don't know the outcome of all of this but I hope its a positive outcome. I'm sorry my blog isn't as good as it should be but I wanted to give you guys something even if its just an explanation.

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So i Stole a Camera......

In my pervious blog I was telling you the about where I work and why and how it is and I felt so sad that I could not share it with you. so I stole a camera.... my moms camera so don't get worried she knows. I was driving to work and I thought are those pirate ships??? so I decided to take a drive to the harbour and get a closer look! they were the most beautiful sale boats I had ever seen!

  

 

I felt like I was in the 20th century waiting for a pirate to steal me away and take me to gold and jewels. yes I am a dreamer, oh and he must look like Johnny Depp! I was so enchanted by these sale boats that I wanted to stay down there the whole day but they where leaving that morning the sun was glistening on the sea as the boats drifted out the harbour I felt so amazing to have witnessed this and I hope you all enjoy it! Here are more pictures I took!

 

 

 

 

camera

so this morning as I was as I was driving to work I past the harbour and there was the most beautiful sunrise over the ocean and the little boast floating on the water I felt like I was driving into a little seaside village wear I work is I drive through town with the busy taxies and traffic and lots of people rushing to work and school and as I drive over the bridge it feels like iv been transported to a totally different place.

my office is based in a quite little area with little shops on school and there are still train tracks all over the roads where trains use to transport grain and coal to the city and other towns. I live in south Africa by the way in a city called east London on the coast of south Africa its on Google earth if you would like to sea it.

the reason I work by the harbour is because I work for a contractor for Mercedes Benz south Africa and we move the cars from the finishing line of Mercedes Benz to the harbour and then the vessel ships them to places like long beach and all around the world.

I am so getting off the topic of this blog the reason I am telling you all this is because I am dying for a camera so I can take pictures of this beautiful quite place and all the little tranquil things that come with it. if you have eve watched the series haven you will know what I'm talking about. I feel as im trying my best to describe what I see every morning it would be way better to show you on picture I hope you will read my blog and be patient.

amazing pictures will be up soon. as for the book I am reading I will try my best to finish it and give you all my thoughts on it.

nearly at my smi finish line and abit of venting, sorry

June, when I think that it is nearly June I have this huge sigh of relief! for me knowing that it is the middle of year and I'm still alive makes me very happy I have no idea why, but if I know I made it to June that means I can  make it till the end of the year, its kind of like me saying "okay Kelly you have gone this far you can get through the rest of it the worst if over!" because I honestly feel the beginning of the year is the worst part of the year you have to get back into working or you have to start a new year at school. I feel stressed at those times but know I know its June, now I can carry on knowing there's only six months to go.

I guess its sort of like the book I'm reading if you haven't been reading my blog its called the time keeper and there's one man who wants time to slow down and there's a young girl who wants it to speed up I want it to slow down now cause there's not enough days in the week where you can stop everything your doing or thinking and just STOP! stop everything a take a breath sit and be still, okay some of you must think what is she on! there's always sleeping, but im not talking about sleeping im talking about if you could come home with no reasonability's and just sit and reflect without having to talk, feed, car, be with anyone but yourself! I just want to have even 10 minutes to myself just myself, not having to worry about money or food or time or if my cats and bunny are fed or when I must get ready for gym when my boyfriend is coming home, BLAH BLAH BLAH!! i just want to think of nothing sometimes, am I being selfish?

let me know what you think of this mess of a post but honestly writing this out made me feel a whole lot better

the time keeper and heaven

I have read to amazing books, the time keeper and the 5 people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albon, both amazing in their own way and its an easy read which I love. it really makes you think gives you some comfort and opens your mind to a whole new perspective on life. I got comfort from those books and I little bit of hope I cant say I'm a big Christian but I do believe in God I talk to him in my own time maybe in the car or anywhere I don't go to church I don't think that makes you a Christian, well that's what I believe.

I will defiantly post more blogs about the books I read and how they affect me. I hope you read these books and they give you some closure to. I have not finished the time keeper yet but I will post soon on what I think of it but for now I'm enjoying it! 

something i have learnt

Fighting with a friend isn't a nice thing at all I know when I was younger maybe even 2 years ago I would fight with a friend and we would fight back and forth saying ugly thing to each other. i have learnt recently that if I friend fights with you ( a good friend) sometimes its best not to fight back to hear her out first and if you come to the conclusion that you are kinder in the wrong its best to just put up that white flag and be like okay I understand were you are coming from and then tell her how you feel and if she still fights back just be nice and say I don't want to fight with you I love you and give her space to cool down cause you cant fight fire with fire, and don't think that you are letting her walk all over you, you are just being the better person.

She will come around soon cause you cant fix something when the person is angry they have there guard up and are ready for you to strike, there's no point in resolving it straight away. its kind of like fighting with a boyfriend yes its better to resolve it sooner then later but you also have to cool down a bit and have a clear mind. so what I'm trying to say is I have learnt patients in fighting as well as controlling those angry emotions.

I know its hard sometimes, we are not perfect but sometime you have to put your pride in your pocket and be the calm on even if the person says or does ugly things. I hope this little blog has helped you in some way.

starting something new

So I have done some soul searching in the last couple of days iv started writing a children's story and I'm sending it to a proof reader its a big thing for me personally to even attempt something like this because I am not a fan of criticism at all mostly criticism from myself  I AM MY WOSRT NIGHTMARE everything about my life has to be perfect! nothing must go wrong! now don't get me wrong though ill leave stuff lying around my wardrobe is a mess!! but that's my personal stuff I'm talking about the Kelly everyone sees what I look like what I wear, where I work what friends I have. All that has to be prefect, my relationships have to be prefect I don't think I'm a perfectionist like everything has to be clean but life has to be clean and its a horrible abbot to have.

so writing this story phoning a proof reader was a huge step and even getting feed back from her will be a big thing for me and ill take criticism postil so I can learn cause I don't know what I want to do in life yet I haven't studied anything nor have I wanted to so maybe this is a step in that direction or hopefully a really good direction.